Where to Meet Your Next (Japanese) Boyfriend? 8 Vital Tips

Where to Meet Your Next (Japanese) Boyfriend? 8 Vital Tips

As a foreign girl living in the land of the rising sun, I have noticed there is a significant number of foreign guys dating Japanese girls. There are many dating services and sites geared for foreign men looking to date Japanese women but there is seemingly a low rate of Japanese men dating foreign women. Are Japanese men not interested in dating a “gaijin”? I don’t believe so. Hence, it is time for ladies to put this matter into our own hands.

I am dating a Japanese man in Tokyo and (although by no means, I did not “find” him nor eagerly initiated the dating, and it just fell into my lap) I can share 8 tips on where to find a Japanese man who is going to be your next boyfriend. Some are my first-hand experiences and some are my friends’ how-did-you-meet-your-girl/boyfriend stories.



 

Where to Meet Your Next (Japanese) Boyfriend? 8 Vital Tips

 

1. Join international events.

In Japan, it is not easy to find Japanese men who can speak English enough to manage a smooth or rather flirty conversation. But if you join some international events, you can find Japanese men who had spent an ample amount of years abroad or Japanese men whose English level is fair enough to carry on an interesting free-flowing exchange.

 

2. Do some private English lessons.

If you are not ready to put yourself out there to Japanese men, there is another way and you can make money too. You can create a teacher profile on some teacher-student matching sites (e.g. Hello sensei or perapera.com). I know there is no guarantee that you will meet your potential boyfriend by doing this, and that those students who use this sites may not be really looking for a potential foreign girlfriend either. But let me tell you, when I used to do private English classes, 9 out of 10 students who contacted me for a lesson were men. Half of them asked me if I was dating someone and when I said “yes”, I never heard from them again. Wasn’t it a weird coincidence? Or am I just a terrible teacher?

And please take this advice with a little caveat: some “students” might contact you for a home private lesson. For the love of sanity, please don’t fall for that. Choose a public place like a cafe of a family restaurant. We never know what those men are up for.

 

3. At a friend’s party.

This is by far the best and the safest way. It’s like a “referral system” where a friend can vouch for that person’s characteristics/personality. If you want a Japanese man, make sure your Japanese female friends know you are searching for a boyfriend and they might set up someone for you.

 

4. Join some festivals like Hanami or Matsuri.

Joining Japanese festivals is a great way to meet people. These kinds of events will give you chances to explore your horizon. Japanese men are everywhere, but (in my own honest opinion) minority of them are just socially awkward. If he joins some events, that’s a good sign that he is not socially awkward and can mingle with people. Plus, he can perhaps introduce you to more of their culture by explaining why they do such things in Japan.

 

5. Go to a bar like Hub or Iris Pub where foreigners hang out.

I know this is very ironic but Japanese men who usually hang out at foreign bars are open to the idea of international interaction. They go to foreign bars looking to talk to foreign women. Same like Japanese women who go there looking to meet foreign men.

 

6. Join “goukon” (group date).

This is not really an easy way since you need a friend who will invite you in to join the “group”. If you don’t know how goukon works, this is a thing in Japan. Basically, there are two “organizers”. One for guys, and one for ladies. They will gather an equal number of participants for the group date. Just be careful as there are some married/in-a-relationship men joining it just to fill in the number.

 

7. Sign up for English-Japanese language exchange.

There are many circles or organizations kind and generous enough to help foreigners in learning their very complicated language. At these places, you will meet nice people who are patient to teach you Japanese. Be subtle about your ulterior motive why you joined the group. You can exchange email addresses then contact the guy who caught your eye and try to ask some help about a certain situation like “how to use a Japanese laundry machine?” Or “how to use a Japanese a/c remote?” In this case, you have some more reasons to meet up. It may not be an actual date but it’s a good start.

 

8. Join parties designed for matching.

If all those things above seem to fail, last but definitely not least, join some communities or parties designed for matching Japanese and foreigner. This can be a little costly since there is a participation fee for every event, still it’s a little price to pay in finding the Japanese man of your dreams.

 

Conclusion

Those are the tips I can share on finding a Japanese boyfriend and they always work. But please keep in mind that it’s not all about the ethnicity of the person or the language he speaks. It’s all about compatibility and respecting each other’s differences. There will always be a lot of cultural misunderstanding along the way. It takes more than a lot of patience when you are going to date someone from a different race. Of course, I am talking about keeping a strong and lasting relationship. It needs understanding, respect, and open-mindedness or else you would just destroy your wonderful fantasy about your “happily-ever-after” with a Japanese prince.

 

Where to Meet Your Next (Japanese) Boyfriend? 8 Vital Tips

1. Join international events.
2. Do some private English lessons.
3. At a friend’s party.
4. Join some festivals like Hanami or Matsuri.
5. Go to a bar like Hub or Iris Pub where foreigners hang out.
6. Join “goukon” (group date).
7. Sign up for English-Japanese language exchange.
8. Join parties designed for matching.