10 Polite Japanese Phrases to Ask Girls Out on a Date!

10 Polite Japanese Phrases to Ask Girls Out on a Date!

A lot’s been written about dating Japanese girls; much of it is rubbish, some is unsavoury, but little of it gives polite phrases you can use. So, I’ll assume you’re a regular bloke with a very basic knowledge of Japanese phrases, who already knows the Japanese girl you want to ask on a date.



 

10 Polite Japanese Phrases to Ask Girls Out on a Date!

 

1. First Names

Let’s assume your intended date is a co-worker, fellow student, friend-of-a-friend, etc. You know her as Togawa-san, which of course is her surname, the usual form of address in Japan. But one reason why Japanese girls like Western men is because they prefer to be on first name terms. If you ask for her first name, she’ll be thrilled as this represents an intimacy she rarely experiences in daily life:

“Anata no namae wa nan desu ka?” = What’s your first name?

 

2. Groundwork

She says her first name’s Nami so, if she doesn’t object, you can call her Nami-san; or she may prefer the more casual Nami-chan. Now you can find out more about her and see if she’s interested in you, as well as practice your basic Japanese:

“(Anata wa) [Furansu ryōri] ga suki desu ka?” = Do you like [French food]?

“Donna [ongaku/eiga] ga sukidesu ka?” What kind of [music/films] do you like?

 

3. A Casual Invitation

If Nami-chan seems reticent about going on a date, don’t be ‘pushy’ – Japanese girls don’t like pushy men! Instead, suggest doing something after work/school:

“Kaeri ni [kōhii/shokuji/kaimono] demo dō?” = How about [some coffee/something to eat/going shopping] on the way home?

NB: You may have learned phrases like “Kaeri ni kōhii o nomimasen ka?” (lit. shall we not drink coffee on the way home?), but younger Japanese prefer the less formal “demo dō?” (how about..?).

 

4. Are You Free?

Japanese girls like men to beat around the bush, so don’t dive straight into an invitation just yet; find out if Nami’s free or not first:

“Kondo no [doyōbi] aiteru?” = Are you free this (Saturday)?

If she replies “Sōda ne” or “Sō desu ne” (Yes), you can safely go ahead and invite her out:

“Doko ka asobi ni ikanai?” = (lit.) Shall we go out to play? This is a very useful Japanese phrase, and not only for romantic situations.

 

5. Invitations to Do Something

As Nami-chan’s response was positive, you can now be more specific about the date:

“Kondo no [doyōbi] issho ni [yūshoku] demo dō?” = Would you like to have dinner together on Saturday?

NB: The phrase “issho ni” (together/with me) is very useful for asking Japanese girls on dates as it excludes any unwanted third parties from the equation!

 

6. Invitations to Go Somewhere

Don’t ask Nami-chan for suggestions; Japanese girls like to be taken places and shows you are decisive!

“Issho ni [Shibuya/Enoshima/Odaiba/Tōkyō Dizuniirando] ni ikitaidesu ka? = Would you like to go to [Shibuya/Enoshima/Odaiba/Tokyo Disneyland] with me?

 

7. Will She/Won’t She?

Be aware of phrases beginning “Gomen ne…” (sorry, but…) as they indicate a refusal. Of course, you can try again, but if the response is still negative, give up!

Happily, Nami-chan says “Ii ne!” or “ii desu ne!” (Yes, I’d like that), or “Zehi ikimashou!” (Yes, let’s go/do that!) – success!

 

8. Saying the Right Thing

On a date with a Japanese girl, don’t talk about yourself too much; show interest in Nami-chan and pay her compliments!

“Sugoku ii!” (You look nice) and “Yofuku sugoku niatteru” (Your outfit really suits you) will please her.

You might also risk telling her “Egao ga hontōni kawaii yo ne” (You’ve got a really cute smile)!

 

9. Getting Her Phone Number

A phone number is a very personal thing in Japan and not given out lightly. With Japanese girls, it’s best not to ask for it before a first date, and not at the end of a date either. Approach the subject casually, perhaps by comparing/discussing mobile phones and the apps you both like, then ask matter-of-fact:

“Denwa bango wa nan desu ka?” (What’s your number?)

 

10. Can I See You Again?

By the end of your first date, you should know if there’ll be a repeat. If you tell a girl you like her – “Anata ga suki desu” – and she replies “Watashi mo…” (me too), then this could be the start of something special! You might also try:

“Hontōni anata ga suki” (I really like you); “Mata chikaiuchini aimashō” (I hope I can see you again); or “Issho ni itai” (I want to be with/date you).

 

Conclusion

From here, you’re on your own. There’s plenty of information on the internet concerning the language of love and desire in Japanese, so do your own research! Besides, if you were going to ‘get lucky’ with a girl, I think you’d have both figured that out by the second date, if not sooner. Either way, it’s the getting to know each other stage that is most fun… isn’t it?

 

10 Polite Japanese Phrases to Ask Girls Out on a Date!

1. First Names
2. Groundwork
3. A Casual Invitation
4. Are You Free?
5. Invitations to Do Something
6. Invitations to Go Somewhere
7. Will She/Won’t She?
8. Saying the Right Thing
9. Getting Her Phone Number
10. Can I See You Again?